I really, really need to move.
I really really need to make a lot of things happen, fast.
I need to pull a career out of thin air in 15 weeks.
I need to make something of myself.
I can make enough to pay rent, but I need to work on the rest of my life.
I see the other students around me and I feel... behind, sometimes.
Whenever I feel like this, it's literally time for me to run, and run, and run, until my lungs burn, and put myself through enough to feel good about pausing, and sitting.
There is so much to do, and I feel like I don't know where to start. This is the trough of my moods, when I feel cold, like my feet, and the weight of what needs to be done is stopping me from doing what needs to be done.
I have a story to write, I have interviews to do, I have assignments, I have to change my address, I have to pay my insurance bill on time for once.
I have to feel complete where I am.
Where I am is 27, a server, almost done with a BA.
Living with a roommate, with a band I have dreams of living off of.
I'm waiting, and I'm working, but am I working hard enough? Sometimes I wonder just what the hell I'm doing. Like now.
Does this stuff get to anyone else?
Of course it does.
There is an expression, that if everyone was standing together in a circle, and we all agreed to throw our problems into the center of the room to maybe pick someone else's, we would immediately grab up our problems and worries when we see what other's are dealing with.
One of our servers at Lonestar wore a neck brace because she just had an accident, as did a friend from school. We're not even going to talk about Gaza.
Normally I'm pretty unsinkable. I guess negativity to me is like 5 or so shots on New Years Eve- you feel better when you let it out.
That was a joke.
So, if any one feels like I do ( I think only like two people ever occasionally even read this) When I need to run, I need to find my shoes, find my (clean) shorts, and walk my ass over to the rec center. Symbolically, and run, and run, and run.
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1 comments:
I so dearly want to run outside, but when/if I do it in this weather I make myself sick. Stick to things and you'll be fine. You already do sound like you're getting 'there'.
If you were in this area I could introduce you to a group of marketers that I believe you would absolutely love. I've been going to A2LM lunches for about 3 months and I'm learning so much, dare-say more from them than from classes. You are ahead of the curve with things like this blog, twitter, myspace, etc. Use them wisely, as you already do, and you're an asset to any company, especially your own, already.
What are you reading?
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