just bitching

I can't stomach this feeling again and again and again.

I should clarify that this is all my fault. I'm the dumb guy that gets excited, gets ahead of himself and the situation, and opens himself up to being burned. I seem to always need to have someone to get over, and it's completely stupid. Another face with memories to sting me.

I'm 27 and I'm no better than a teenager, it seems.

It seems also that the need for companionship trumps everything else, it's what I want more than anything else, and once it seems to be a possibility again, I let my defenses go, forgetting that all good things, whether short or long, end.

Bek says I'm the last good guy on the planet, and I shouldn't foget that.

I said, Thanks Bek.

"No, really," she said.

I said that may be true, but it doesn't matter under circumstance.

I can't help but care, and feel deeply what I feel for others, for the women I like. It's my only real weakness, but nothing, I mean nothing knocks me off balance like a relationship, or the warm possibility of one.

I may take this down as quickly as I type it. I really just wanted to vent.